Tomorrow I will have six classes. I am already feeling the tingling in the back of my throat. It never fails, every year, I get sick and lose my voice. I promised myself that I would do minimal talking this year. I am really trying to take care of myself this year. I promised that I would never leave after 4pm. Today I left at 4:59...I'm improving.
Louise Hay would say that I should pay attention to what my body is telling me. In her book, You Can Heal Your Life, she wrote:
The THROAT represents our ability to "speak up" for ourselves, to "ask for what we want," to say "I am," etc. When we have throat problems, it usually means we do not feel we have the right to do these things. We feel inadequate to stand up for ourselves...Sore throats are always anger....LARYNGITIS usually means you are so angry you cannot speak.I definitely feel angry. I do not feel a part of our school community. I can never collaborate with my teachers because I am a part of the "integral" loop (the kids come to me in the library, the music teacher, and the PE teacher, so they can have their grade level planning meeting). I barely have time to take care of myself during the day, and I do not have time to plan the type of quality lessons that I know I am capable of (22 lessons/week, K-5). I try to avoid complainers like the plague...and now I have turned into one of them.
I am feeling unsupported by my principal, who is well intentioned, but has no expectations for implementing a curriculum-involved library program. You know the saying, "There is no I in Team?" Well that person was right, because I am in the library and I am not a part of the curricular team at my school.
